Happy Friday!

It's that time again! I haven't posted much lately because my mind has been, well, blank. I mean, I have things to say but they aren't appropriate for a blog :-/ . Today has started out like any wild day. Problem is, it's Friday, and I'm used to relaxing on Friday. See, my kids dad took on a side job to help pay the deposits for the new apartment he moved into. The job was last weekend and this weekend as well. I have been going insane! The kids usually stay with him on the weekend since he doesn't see them during the week, and twice in a row, I have had them ALL DAMN WEEK! I'm 10 seconds from pulling my hair out! At around 7:15 am, they were already fighting! I love my kids to death and I love spending time with them, but I cherish my weekends just as much. I have time to sit down and reflect on the week and just endulge in "me" time. I'm extremely stressed right now because the only time away from these kids that I have had is the time I'm in class....yea, not much of a stress reliever! sigh! if only! On the bright side, my son lost another tooth today and I get to play Tooth Fairy! I have a lot of fun doing that, especially watching him in the morning as he scrambles to see what she left him! I do different things, not always money and it never fails to excite him! Well bloggers, I'm back to go lay on my couch and see how long it takes before I have to yell or get up and fix something! Happy Friday!

I should be studying....

but instead I'm sitting here thinking of all the awesome clothes I could be designing. There are so many styles, so many colors, patterns...the possibilities are endless. I just see a pair of shoes and I can come up with an idea for an outfit!Too bad I can't draw. If I knew the first thing about drawing more than stick figures I would totally go into fashion design. I know a very talented person that has made clothes for herself among other home decor! She's unbelievably talented! She and I could seriously do some good damage with my designing (minus the drawing) talent and color matching and her crafting talent. I think I'm blabbing...but I know what I'm trying to say. LOL. Dream on, dream away.....back to reality and the 15 page debate essay I must write!

Random Friday Thoughts

Happy Friday everyone! I see that here in bloggers world Fridays are days to meet new people. In my world, Friday is the day for me to relax, unwind, and get all my thoughts together. My thoughts are usually all over the place during the week so today I will sit down and try to make some sense of them. Today is quite different from most Fridays. My ex decides he wants to take on a weekend job so the kids are with me today. I am going to have to make some adjustments here. For example, right now as I sit here and blog..my daughter has already asked me like 50 or more questions! And now she is standing next to me asking me why the letters are magically appearing on the screen..and soo fast too!!! She asked if I was a magician for halloween! Toddlers. They say some crazy stuff sometimes. :-D I may be back later when I can actually think straight. Until then, Happy Friday, bloggers!

Confessions of a Shopaholic

I'm a really strange woman because most of them love, eat, sleep, shit, drink, and breathe the word diamond! Not me! I've heard some crazy shit before out of women! "Oh, my wonderful man bought me this (insert ridiculous number) carat t.w. diamond, he's gettin laid tonight!" or "OMG girrrrrrrrllll, you should see the rock I'm rockin!" I dunngivafuk! Talk to me about the new 0% APR on the new hot pink shade of the Discover credit card, then you gots my undivided attention! Serrrriously! It means more shopping! I may sound like a gold digger, but I've got too much pride to take anything from a man! I think my hunny likes that about me! LOL! Besides, I don't know of any man that would carry a pink credit card..well maybe Ryan Seacrest would but that's a different story! The beauty of using my own money instead of a man's is that I don't have to give you a reason as to why I need to buy something, I just buy it! I do know how to budget but when there is extra...it gets used! A little too often, a wave of depression rides over me and a simple trip to the mall restores my serotonin. :-D Scientific studies also say that excercising (including walking) keeps you fit and healthy! Walking can be done at the mall, and when you live in South Texas, indoor walking is wonderful! The mall is an essential part of every woman's life. Purses, shoes, clothes, jewelry (in my case, costume jewelry because I don't like real jewelry), shoes, purses, stuff for kids, shoes, purses, purses, shoes, purses, oh yea and shoes! It's a wonderful feeling! I was having a bad day and the thoughts pouring into this blog are making me smile! There are animal print stillettos, betsey johnson purses, hot pink, fushia, jet black, purple......................the list goes on and on. If you are feeling down, I suggest shopping! Disclaimer: DO NOT ATTEMPT SHOPPING IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT, NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT! For this reason....I sit at home and blog instead of perusing the many new stores at our newly remodeled mall. Sigh....that is all for now bloggers...must go back to my homework! :-D

I'm bored!!!

That is what came out of my daughter's mouth this morning. I can't help but think to myself all the things I could be doing right now if I had the time or space for that matter! There is a little ticking time bomb inside of me that is ready to explode with possibilities for life. All I can think of at this moment is where to begin my journey after graduation. Do I pursue a law degree? Lord knows I love to argue and prove people wrong! Should I be a teacher? Not sure my short temper can handle 20 brats in one room. Ugh. And around and around we go. The daily battle with my thoughts takes up the majority of my day. I don't have time to be bored. Oh, did I mention that I have no space either? Here I am, finally on the right path, I'm getting somewhere, I think I have an idea....and $%^$%# my foot! Yet ANOTHER one of Bella's million toys I step on and my thoughts are all over the place one again. Sidetracked. Definitely one of the words that will describe me during the day! Hell, even this blog is all over the place! So, I can't help but wonder, while all these toys are there either to play with or to pick up....how the hell does this child find time to be bored?! Allow me to share the current state of my living room:

Lacking affection or just crazy??

Little black dress, huh? Well, I don't own many of those. I was not blessed with the tall, thin, model-like figure that is the very stereotype of the "little black dress." The title, however, is befitting of me because of the meaning behind the woman in the little black dress. She stands tall, proud,and most of all...untouchable. People desire to be like her and have her confidence. Ask anyone and they will describe me that way. Wanna know a secret? I'm nothing like that. I have low self-esteem, which may never change and I also get hurt easily. When you open up and let people know you have a heart, well it becomes easy for them to hurt you. The other way, they work for your affection. Only the deserving recieve it. Anyway, I have never attracted affectionate men. EVER! All men see in me is sex and anything and everything having to do with the damn word. I'm not sure what kind of vibe this is they get from me, but the girl in the little black dress is supposed to be untouchable, not come off as easy. Here is where I may start to sound a little bit crazy, but here goes....my soon to be ex-husband recently adopted a cat for the kids and I really disliked this cat. His job requires him to be out of town, so I have to go check on the cat and make sure it is fed and I decided to stick around and play with the cat. The kids and I were there for quite awhile and I pet the cat, played with him, brushed his coat and set up a little rest area for him on my ex's bed (that may not go so well when he finds out! lol). When I left, I felt so bad for that cat, all alone in an apartment with no one to cuddle or play with. I sound like a crazy cat lady, but I have to wonder if this is just my hunger for affection messing with my head. Today, I went back to make sure his bowl was full and the cat did this funny thing with his tail that according to my ex, he does when he likes someone. He rubbed against my leg and purred because he wanted to be carried. In a VERY STRANGE way, I saw myself in the cat. I just want to be held, loved, cared for, and I want to feel like I matter. I wish I could go back and just hold the cat so he won't feel lonely anymore. I even have a picture I took of him as my desktop background. I feel really weird. I'm only 28 and I'm acting like the insane 70 year old woman who turns to her cats for affection because she's a widow and her kids are all grown. I met someone who is somewhat affectionate towards me. He is great. He makes me laugh, smile, giggle, and go to bed smiling. I wake up in the morning excited when I have a text from him because it means I was the first thing on his mind when he woke up. I'm hoping for good things to come and I hope I don't get my heart broken. Then hopefully...just maybe I won't have to turn to cats anymore to feel loved. :-/